


Fee Fei Ho Hum

by baeberiibungh



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AU, All the other characters are merely mentioned, Derek is a Softie, Derek is a giant, Gen, Hanky toga, Human Stiles Stilinski, No Werewolves, Stiles is a prattlebox, mangoes, still grumpy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 07:31:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4951861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeberiibungh/pseuds/baeberiibungh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek is a very bored giant and Stiles is the human who slipped through under the wall to steal fruits from his garden...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My love of fairy tales shines through in this.

Derek sat in his chair that was as big as a house, and looked over his garden. The trees were just about doubled over with fruits and ripe ones littered the floor into a mushy layer that looked quite solid in the sunlight but gave away easy under one’s foot. Derek had picked up his trees many times over and sent the fruits to his sisters and mother, but they eventually sat him down and said that even giants couldn’t eat that many apples and litchis and bananas and guavas and pears and custard apples and starfruits and mangoes and jackfruits and berries. They were after all not like the human trees, small and the width of toothpicks, and the fruits hardly better than minuscule seedlings, but actual majestic tress that looked like mountain to the short rodent like humans. 

Derek had tried to take a few to a nearby hill, as a gift from his garden, but the usual have happened. People screaming, trying to prick him with sticks and spears, children throwing stones at him, that heavy fellow always fainting in a theatrical fall near his feet. There were even some singing and chanting, and frankly it just got old real quickly after he was subjected to the same treatment every time he tried to give them something. So Derek refused to go out anymore. He stayed in, kept his gate locked and made sure that the walls were always intact, for the humans were pretty innovative sometimes he will give them that. 

The walls were initially his mother’s idea, as high as his knees, but very high for the little critters, to mark his territory officially. While Derek liked to live in isolation for the most part, he couldn’t be too far away because, well, giants were everywhere. Not as many as humans perhaps, but definitely a huge number all the same. And they all belonged to families that stayed together and lived in the same place. For civil and peaceful co-existence, each family had a particular area accorded to them, to live or grow their own food. It had very little to do with human interaction and their borders were of no concern to the giants. When Derek, fed up with his huge family and their inexplicable inability to just leave him alone had brought up getting a new house, his mother had gifted him the loft.

It was a raised plateau, situated near a human area, and very fertile soil. He had immediately built himself a small cottage, just a cozy room with the kitchen to the side and a bathroom, planted a bunch of the magic seeds that his mother Talia seemed to have in reserve for anyone who asked and built himself a pretty garden. There were flowers that smelled divine, fruits that looked and tasted delicious and simple trees and bushes that grew up quickly and hid him from the sight of everyone. In his home, alone and rocking in his chair, Derek found the peace that he was hankering for. 

Too soon it got kind of too peaceful. Used to his boisterous family pulling him along to do things and have fun, even when he initially didn’t want to, but ended up having fun many times anyway, the silence started to sting. Every time he felt lonely, he would go to Talia’s and return very pleased about his home. This tactic always worked, but couldn’t be used too much or else he will be teased again on how he is a baby and can’t sleep alone, and yes he is the youngest so yes he may have been clingy good part of his childhood, but is it reason enough to keep on bringing it up years later huh?

That is when he tried to take some fruits as a token of his friendship to the nearby hill. Giants tended to keep to themselves, unless one was an elder member, for then they could visit other giant families too. For the little ones, the only friends they could get were their own siblings or cousins. That is why giants were usually closed knit. Derek loved his family but he couldn’t bear them all the time. He thought that some of the humans, who were merely miniature version of the giants, wouldn’t mind being his friends. Cue the screams and torches.

That day, Derek was feeling very bored. Usually he would have been busy at tending to his garden, for it was his favourite place, right next to the home he grew up in and the one he lived in now, but he felt too restless. He wanted to do something, but didn’t know what. He could go to the river and have a lazy swim, pick and clean the ripe fruits or try to make jams from the edible ones or just look at the sky. He choose the last and lay himself down on the ground near his chair so that his legs dangled over the single step he had built into the house. He looked on at the fluffy clouds and wished once again for a friend to have and talk and just be with.

A few hours later, Derek wakes up to feeling something scritch on his face. The animals never cross the walls, even to feed, and anyway they are too small to do him any harm. What he was feeling was something perhaps as long as his pinky in his estimation that was going around his mouth. Derek tried to look down to see if he could just swat it away and saw to his amazement, a human making a trek across his face. It was late afternoon, the sun behind the wall of trees and this tiny little human, looking like a stick figure really, was calmly climbing his face. He sat up quickly, swiping his hand over his face lightly to hold the human in and then peers into his hand.

The human looks back at him with comically wide eyes, mouth open as well. Derek huffs at it and the human screams, making the sound a nail makes when it is pulled out from steel, a kind of pop and screech at the same time. Derek stands up and heads inside. The human is saying something, but its voice is too low for Derek to make anything out of it. So he sets the human down before the magically constructed foghorn that had been especially built for humans, just in case, and asks in a hushed voice, for he doesn’t want to scare away the only guest he has gotten so far, “Why were you climbing my face?”

“I wasn’t climbing your face dude,” a young voice whines through the foghorn. It again looks confused for his sound came out much louder so that even Derek could hear it. It looks at the horn, tries to inspect it more thoroughly but is sidestepped by Derek asking, “Then what exactly were you doing on my face human?”

“Trying to kiss you,” came the waspish reply. Derek saw it wince, as if that is not what it meant to say, very clearly through the magnifying glass that he had situated strategically so that the human appeared three times his size and therefore actually worth looking at. 

“What are you called?” Derek asked.

“Stiles.”

It gulped when it saw Derek frown at it thunderously. Derek thought that the human was just making a joke. “What the hell is a stiles?” he asked gruffly.

“I am Stiles. Or rather I am called Stiles. It’s my name, you know, what people call me when they want to grab my attention. It’s not my real name though. I mean my official name. That is a different one. I am not telling you by the way. Don’t worry, it’s not you, I don’t tell it to anyone. Because it is weird and sounds weird and is weird to write so just call me Stiles. When you see me next, or not see me. I mean I understand that as a standing tradition you might just eat me and all that but, er, yeah. So. I am a human boy from the nearby hill, Beacon Hills we call it, and I respond to Stiles.”

Stiles is peering nervously at Derek who, it seems, is getting angrier and angrier by the minute. His eyebrows have almost come together and are forming a basic line of the silhouette of the Himalayas, jagged edges and raised peaks and holy god this must be a specialty of ferocious giants for he has never seen a human being doing that before. He wishes he didn’t get so curious so much as to come to the giants’ house and climb his legs and his fucking face for fucks sake and wow now he is going to be eaten and he didn’t even say goodbye to his dad or Scott or Issac or fuck, Lydia, the most amazing girl in the world. This is what he gets for being such a ‘curious little shit’. Goddamnit. He is going to prove Jackson right after all.

“I don’t eat humans,” booms Derek in a pissed off voice, forgetting to hush his voice for Stiles’ benefit. Strangely, Stiles’ eardrums don’t shatter from that assault, just rings like after a big explosion. 

Swaying slightly, Stiles says, “Good to know,” and promptly bowls over in a dead faint.


	2. Chapter 2

Stiles wakes up sputtering and coughing, his clothes and body wet while a glass about twice his size filled with water stands near him. His hair is plastered to his head, and it feels like there is water in his nose and ears. He peers angrily at the giant who is peering back with a nervous look on his face. The giant also has a weird looking bandana covering part of his face and even though he is not speaking much, his eyebrows are doing their usual conga line to convey a host of meaning to the slightly gasping Stiles.

“Did you just try to drown me?” Stiles asks in between gasps. His heart is beating faster than usual and he is still stragically placed near the horn so that his wheezy voice comes out loud enough. 

“You fainted, and it’s not like I could do anything that would not have crushed you. So, I, er, dunked you in a bit of water. Atleast you are awake now,” says the giant in a muffled voice that does not aggravate Stiles’ still faintly ringing ears. He does look contrite and when Stiles looks down, actually seems to be twiddling his thumbs on his clasped arms. 

“And that behemoth glass was the smallest utensil you could find to dunk me in, eh?” Stiles asks faintly as he lays himself down on the wet surface to wait for his heartbeat to come down. On receiving no sound from the giant, Stiles opens one of his eyes and sees the giant looking forlorn for some reason. Or rather his eyebrows And eyes for his ridiculous bandana is still covering his face. “Ah, it’s ok big guy. I would rather be ‘dunked’ than compressed into a mushy lump between your fingers.”

There is no more sound apart from breathing in the house for 15 minutes or so and then the giant whispers, “I am called Derek.”

“Nice ta meetcha Derek” Stiles slurs back. Even though he is lying on a hard surface and completely wet, the adreline rush had left him feeling weak and sleepy. 

Derek hovers nearer and says, still hushed, “Perhaps you should take off your clothes Stiles.”

“Trying to look at my hot bod Derek? Coz lemme tell you I am a hot hot property in my village and am one of the perfect people humans have ever seen,” Stiles says with a snort.

Derek is looking at him and with a awed voice says, “Really?”

Stiles sighs and says, “Nah man. I am like one the least ugly and that’s all the charm I have. And yes I would like to get out of my clothes, but I doubt you have anything for me to wear instead, or do you?” 

Derek gets up and goes to a trunk that is perhaps as big as the school that Stiles goes to and rummages in it a bit before coming back with a piece of clothes, that looks like a huge tent to place near Stiles on a dry area. Stiles promptly get up, chucks off his clothes and tries to wrap the huge piece of cloth around him like a toga. He also sees that it is not a human tent but an actually embroidered hanky. It is lumpy and huge on him and trails half on the ground behind him, but at least he is dried and covered and that is much better. 

Derek, who was doing something in his kitchen area comes back with piece of paper that held minuscule pieces of mangoes on it that were still as big as Stiles head. Stiles did not say anything but picked up one piece and bit it. It was extremely delicious. 

“Holy shit dude, this is awesomely tasty. Hell if I knew your fruits were so good to eat before, I might have come much earlier man,” said Stiles, chomping easily and with relish.   
Derek looked on at the human trying to eat half his weight in mango and asked, “So why exactly did you come here?”

Derek gulps his mouthful, rubs his face on the hanky and sets out to give a lengthy explanation. He says, “This was so not premeditated, let me tell you that the first of all. Also, I just want to take the opportunity to say that I am sorry I said you were a human eater, even though everything had pointed to a very vegetarian diet, so yeah, sorry about that.” Stiles steps back to the puddle that still sat on the table, even though Derek took away his clothes to place them near his stoves, slaps his hands on there and cleans up his sticky fingers on the hanky again.

“So, it started two months ago, when you last came for a visit, I saw you there. I also saw how careful you were to step around anything, which was hilarious by the way as you looked like a huge mouse somehow as if you were trying to be stealthy. I also saw the big ass fruits you held in your hands and kept trying to lower in an appropriate places except that everyone kept screaming and stuff and you just left in a huff and didn’t even hurt anyone, even the animals, and yet people were called and plans made to ‘send you off their land’ which is so comical, like what are they gonna do, we are practically insects compare to you and then I remember thinking of like a kind of locust revolution where all the locusts come together to get rid of the humans and they have armies and generals and ha ha that was so funny, but anyway, I am going off topic, I kind of tend to do that.”

“Scott is my best friend and we both saw how you acted and we were like ‘you know what we don’t think the giant is so bad,’ and everyone laughed at us, even sweet sweet Lydia, except she is not so sweet as much as amazing, and Jackson, he is a big asshole by the way, hit us over our head and my dad actually tried to make me promise that i won’t do anything stupid, because, har har, apparently doing stupid things is a staple for me, although seeing how i am in a tent toga on your table, perhaps there is some validity to their accusation, so, anyway, no one believed me, so we went to Deaton, he is Scott’s boss and like damn intelligent and knows everything about everything but will not say anything to anyone and we went to him and even he conceded that giants are not that bad, because he used to be close with one called Talia and i think he maybe had a thing for her for he got this look on his face, but yeah, so we were like sure that you were not bad, but no one believed, and such disbelief called for strong action.”

“So Scott said to his mom Mrs McCall and I told my dad that we are going camping and we planned to stay beyond your wall, except we found a hole, and we came through and we walked for two days straight and Scott didn’t want to come any nearer but I did, and I wanted to take back some token that said hey I been to the monster’s lair, not that I am calling you a monster you see, but like a proof that I have seen you and you didn’t do anything and I thought that I would take back one of your hairs, all sturdy and rope like, and I dunno, seemed like a good idea when I was thinking it, aaaand that is why I was climbing your face. Which by the way was no mean feat in my present puny body, but ya. I hope there are no bad feelings and hey can I take some of the mango for Scott?” said Stiles without seemingly even the need to breath.

Derek sat back bemused. How much this human, Stiles his brain amended, can talk! He had talked more than Derek himself had talked in perhaps the last three months. And he does not even look winded. And Derek found that he ...didn’t mind. Huh. Perhaps it was because as much as Stiles talked, he seem to have no expectation for Derek to talk, and even though he was kind of talking to Derek, it did not seem the way every conversation with Peter had felt like. No, Stiles just let every though that came to his mind and let it out and didn’t need anyone else to fill up the silence. Hell, this could work for Derek. Perhaps he should ask for an official friendship with this human, and maybe he won’t have to feel so lonely anymore.

His reverie was broken when Stiles said, “So, I think I better get back to Scott, he is still in the jungle, (It’s my garden mutters Derek here) and it will be nightfall soon. Thank you so much for the mango and so can I get one of your hairs to show off?” Asks Stiles hopefully, unwrapping his toga for Derek has come back with his toasty clothes and which he puts back on quickly. 

“I... No. No hair. But you can have some more mangoes, and you can tell me where you are staying so that I can take you there,” Derek says, not wanting to say that giving one’s hair, even one is considered a courting gesture among the giants. 

“S’cool man. Thanks for the lift I guess,” Stiles smiles back brightly. He then steps onto Derek’s palm which he had placed just on the edge of the table for Stiles to jump into and both go out to Scott. Just ten steps in, Stiles asks to be let down and Derek can see another human looking up in apprehension that turns into delight when Stiles get down. They hug, Derek solemnly presents the whole mango to them that he had cut previously and steps back to his home. As he closes his door, he hopes that Stiles would come back again some day for more fruits or just to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, unbetaed, but writen in a better state of health. I hope you like this. Thank you so much for the kudos and comments you have left for the story, made me glad that I wrote this.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this through a headache, so even more bad writing than usual. Unbetaed. Comments, kudos, crits very much welcomed. Thank you for reading.
> 
> Edit: cleaned this up some.


End file.
